Mood Swings

Mood swings?

They are not mine to have,

Nor mine to enjoy.

A state of being perpetually confused—

Confused by emotions that should not be my lord.

​Should I fantasize about being controlled

By what was meant to serve me?

By what I was meant to use for my cause?

​Should I romanticize this fog?

The state of not knowing why I do the things I do,

Living at the mercy of a feeling?

Should I glorify this conflict?

Hurting the ones who love me

Because of a pulse I cannot explain?

​No, thank you.

I am not interested.

I refuse to be trapped in a hole

I have the power to step over.

​You thought I was powerless?

You thought I had no control?

Well, I do.

I choose to invite it in,

Or push it far away.

​It is I who holds the key.

And when I say you are not allowed—

You are not allowed.

Whether you choose to keep romanticizing this,

That is for you.

But as for me and my whole being?

I say NO.